“I don’t remember the first time I fell in love with Rich, But I do remember the second.”
No, this isn’t the plot of the Adam Sandler movie 50 First Dates. It’s the real life story of how Jessica Sharman fell in love with her boyfriend of 7 months again, after an epileptic attack left her with memory loss.
20 year old Jessica Sharman’s life was changed forever during an ordinary trip with her boyfriend on the commuter train, traveling from Tunbridge Wells, Kent, into London, when Jessica suffered a series of debilitating seizures. Jessica had lived with epilepsy since she was 14, but It had never impacted her life as profoundly as it did that day.
The next thing Jessica knew, she was awake in the hospital and her memory was wiped clean. She didn’t recognize her parents, boyfriend, or any familiar faces from before. Her previous life up until this point was a blur.
She says: “I was terrified. I had no idea who anyone was. Everyone was a stranger to me. I didn’t even know my own name. I remember boarding the train that day in March, but that’s it. I’ve been told my body went limp and my eyes glazed over. But we had nearly arrived in London and Rich was able to support me until we got to the station, then walk me to our office and call my parents while he looked after me. I now recall seeing a woman running towards me but I had no idea who she was. She was hugging me and asking if I was OK but I just stared back at her blankly. She kept saying she was my mom.”
Jessica’s parents where shocked that their daughter had no memories of them or her past life. They did everything in there power to help her through this challenging time. In an attempt to spark a memory, Jessica’s mom started showing her pictures of them together, to no avail.
“But not only did I not recognize my parents in the pictures,,, I had no idea what I looked like.”
“I found a mirror and looked at my reflection, but it was like I was looking at a stranger. I did match the person in the photos, though, so I agreed to go home with my parents. Mom put a hand on my knee but I pushed it off—it felt weird to be touched by a stranger.”
When she was taken home, Jessica had no recollection of the house she had grown up in. “My mom gave me a tour, but nothing came back to me. My parents invited Rich over but I didn’t know him and, when they left me alone with him, I was really scared.”
Jessica’s parents brought her to the national hospital for neurology and neurosurgery in London, where she was diagnosed with amnesia brought on by epilepsy. Doctors told Jessica it could take up to 6 months for her memory to return, if it ever does at all.
When she was discharged from the hospital, she left with her boyfriend, Rich. She struggled to come to terms with the fact that she had once dated and loved this man, who was now a stranger.
She says: “I remember at one point I was left on my own with him and hated it. I didn’t know him but he was acting like we were in love.
“So two weeks later, I tried to end the relationship. He looked so hurt and promised he would help me remember how great we were together. Seeing how passionate and caring he was finally convinced me he must care for me, so I agreed to give it a shot.”
Rich did everything he could to help Jessica remember their once-loving relationship. He took her to places they’d previously had nice dates, showed her pictures of them together, and told her stories of who she used to be. He did anything he could think of to try to help her remember their past life.
It eventually started to work, in a way. Jessica didn’t remember their previous relationship, but she slowly started fall back in love with Rich.
“I dont remember the first time I fell in love with Rich,” she says, “But I do remember the second.”
“He was so patient with me, so sweet, I couldn’t help but fall for him.”
Over time, Jessica started to reconnect with her normal life. She got a new job at a call center, and started seeing her old friends.
“My parents taught me how to cook again, told me what TV I liked and how I liked to dress. Socializing was hard, as friends expected me to trust them straightaway.”
She says: “I was starting to leave the house more. People I’d known for years would approach me and start chatting. It was stressful admitting I had no idea who they were. It’s hard to explain losing 19 years’ experiences — and doctors say I may never get these back. I’ve had to relearn everything about those close to me — and doctors say there’s a 50 percent chance I could lose my memory all over again. But Rich was able to make me fall in love with him twice — so I know he could do it again.”
